Part of the reason why I started this blog was so I could understand and accept myself more. I'm generally very in tune with my interior, but sometimes I miss things. And I've noticed that I still judge myself:
- I judge myself when my sexuality frequently fluctuates; I keep thinking that there's some "right" way to be bi or that I'm bi for the "wrong" reasons. Like I'm just using different people for different purposes.
- I judge myself when I feel straight now! I feel I'm some sort of "hasbien."
- I judge myself when I was to look boyish or indulge in some of my more boyish interests (e.g. films with cool martial arts scenes). And I have a complex over not being comfortable wearing white people dresses 90% of the time.
I need to find that place in myself that can just observe and absorb all the parts of me that I consider unacceptable. Because observation is neutral, and I need to dwell in a more neutral place.
I know totally what you mean about everything you said.
ReplyDeleteRiese,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. And for understanding. You've probably analyzed bisexuality more than I have. Not that it's a competition or anything.
Really exist a neutral place in any aspect that affects to our lives or thoughts?
ReplyDeleteIf the response is affirmative, I want the recipe.
I keep on reading your posts in spite of my silence.
Un cálido abrazo, Shane
Eva
Eva,
ReplyDeleteYes, staying neutral is much easier said than done. I want the recipe for it too.
Thanks for reading. I'm sorry for losing touch.
Abrazos,
S