Hang up the chick habit

I finally saw Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Not only does it have a buncha hot gay girls who aren't doused in make up, but it was funny and interesting.

Maybe it wasn't the greatest movie ever, and But I'm a Cheerleader is probably more of a classic. Nevertheless, it was cute and made me want to run around town defacing representations of oppression and consumerism. Jamit Babbit's style of filmmaking is entertaining, and she always manages to coat her messages with a layer of humor.

Daniela Sea's hotness actually almost superceded her ineffectual voice. And watching her get it on with Carly Pope....yum! Those big-ass glasses were a bit distracting though. And Clea Duvall was only in it for like 30 seconds, but she looked sexy as hell.

I was basically squealing, fawning, or drooling throughout the film, and I'm probably going to watch it again so I can squeal, fawn, and drool again. Because I thoroughly enjoy being emotionally manipulated by the artists who click with me.

Sex Rebel

All of these anti-gay, pro-missionary position initiatives have me thinking about the core tenets of homophobia. One of them is obviously that homophobes consider gay sex to be wrong.

Why is it wrong?

Sex is meant for procreation, and gay sex does not lead to procreation: Ummm, yeah, since all the sex that goes on in the world is only for procreation. The number of people who have sex JUST to have babies is infinitesimally small.

People primarily have sex because it feels good and because it's away to connect to and/or conquer other people. If this wasn't the case, abortions wouldn't be an issue, and there would be no birth control.

Gay sex is gross: All sex is gross. Objectively speaking, sex is a weird, messy ritual. People make funny faces and odd noises. Fluids with not-so-delectable tastes and smells are inevitably thrown into the mix.

People (gay and straight) act out ridiculous role-play scenarios and indulge in strange fetishes. It can be painful and awkward the first few times. People willingly put themselves at varying degrees of risk for contracting STD's. Again, we do it because it feels good. And because of hormones. And love will make you do some crazy things.

Furthermore, if sex wasn't at least a lttle bit weird and messy, then it would be boring as hell. All sex is gross.

Gay sex is unnatural: There are homo animals. Nobody turned them gay. It's not like they get Showtime.

Bits

Me: I just think it's more interesting to take clothes off a girl wearing more gender-neutral clothes.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because then it's like a pleasant surprise, like, WOW, curves! WOW! boobs!

Friend: Gay sex isn't real sex; it's just messing around.
Me: Homophobe says what?
Friend: Well, it's making love, but sex is meant for making babies. And that can only happen with a penis and a vagina.
Me: Uptight Christian says what?

Yeah...I put him in his place.

I will end with a Dan Savage quote that he said in response to a gay man who was trying to discern whether his crush was gay or straight:

I'm always amazed that people who are brave enough to stick a dick in their ass, for instance, are too cowardly just to ask somebody if he's gay.

Queer. As. FUCK

Disclaimer: The following conversation is between two sexually fluid female friends who have known each other for a long time. It is sexually explicit, and it openly discusses very kinky sex acts that some might find unsettling. It is, however, very interesting and very queer. And it cracked my shit up.

Me: what kind of kinky sex did you have?
Friend: pegging :D
Me: k i'm gonna hafta google that
Friend: uh
Friend: where i do him w a strap-on
Me: OMG WOW
Friend: :D :D :D
Friend: it is fun
Me: DAYM
Friend: he asked for it!
Me: HAHAHAHA
Friend: also he luuuuuvs it
Friend: <-- so lucky Me: you two are really good for each other
Friend: i think so
Me: so who owns the strap-on?
Friend: we kind of both do
Me: LOL
Friend: the harness and the double dildo were expensive
Me: "the strap-on is in our name"
Friend: so we split it right down the middle
Friend: exactly
Friend: if we were to break up, i don't know
Friend: i'd probably get rid of 'em
Friend: strap-on custody battle
Me: HAHAHAHA
Friend: we also got this vibrating...thing
Friend: which he likes a lot
Friend: he insists he thinks he can come just from having something stimulate his prostate enough, which i believe, but it's also like...
Friend: HURRY UP ALREADY
Friend: i'm not what you'd call a patient lover i guess
Me: LOL
Me: so did he come?
Friend: well i've jerked him off the times we've done it
Friend: he totally turns into this whimpering little boy, eyes all rolling up in his head
Friend: making crazy noises
Me: christ, i'm so happy for your sex life
Friend: lol, thank you. me too
Me: and he dresses like a total DORK
Friend: lol
Me: hahahahah
Friend: he actually wore a shirt with a collar last night
Friend: when he takes a minute and puts on something suitable for his age range
Friend: damn, it's a treat
Me: so were you facing him?
Friend: yeah, i had done it doggy-style before but with the shape of the head of the dildo he says missionary is better for his prostate
Friend: also it is hot
Me: lol, wow
Friend: also i can jerk him off like that
Friend: i highly recommend it
Friend: i've never even done that w a girl!
Me: HAHAHA
Friend: (and now i sort of want to)
Friend: (shhh don't tell :P)
Me: hahahahahaha
Me: oh please, i already knew that
Friend: i know, i was kidding
Friend: what are you up to tomorrow?
Me: blah, reading
Friend: yeah, if you want to come over and study (or i could come there) i'd be down
Friend: i have so much shit to do
Friend: you're good for keeping me motivated
Friend: when i get all overwhelmed and self-pitying you're all like "oh shut the fuck up"
Me: i am? i try to be nice
Friend: yeah but your demeanor is very "oh shut the fuck up."
Me: i don't know how to hide the "oh stfu" demeanor
Me: i've started wondering what it'd be like to date maybe a bi gi whose a bit femmy
Me: and we could just be QUEER as fuck together
Me: ugh, my spelling. wtf. bi guy
Friend: bi gi is cute :-).. it looks korean
Me: haha
Friend: you should look for one! they're fun
Friend: but they tend to be really self-absorbed and vain too
Me: if they're pretty, i can tolerate the vanity
Me: i'd probably encourage it
Me: i'm planning to taste a bit of everything this year
Friend: ha, good girl
Me: you should do a threesome w/ another guy
Friend: i don't know if i could deal with that
Friend: the first time i fucked his butt i got slightly worried, like, "does this mean you're maybe sort of gay"
Me: LOL
Friend: but i know he digs my vag. and it's nice, bc it gives me a vag vacation
Me: hahahaha
Me: um, hello, you're a little gay
Me: your bf is just queer. i was thinking that when you said he likes my voice
Friend: i know, i know it is not fair to be worried about him being gay except that i am possessive like that
Friend: he has to only like ME.
Friend: shrug
Friend: yeah he is totally queer, very much outside of traditional dichotomies
Friend: he says "it's so weird that you're the girl and i'm the boy" and i'm like hm ok yeah
Friend: but it's sort of true, compared to him i'm very practical and unimaginative and earthy
Me: hahaha
Friend: ...and i often tell him to get me a beer
Friend: oh man
Me: LOL
Friend: i should start calling him marge
Me: hahaha
Me: hah, i was talking about the idea of just being into one person with someone else
Me: i've been that way. one person-sexual
Me: ahhh, pretty queer boys
Me: it's on my to do list

I heart my friends.

Bullets

• I just realized that I've been listening to Kelka almost every day since August. I'm guessing that the longest I've went without listening to them is maybe three days. I wonder what would happen if I renounced myself from anything Kelkian for a whole week. Maybe I'd turn straight? Maybe I'd suffer severe withdrawal symptoms. Or maybe the podcasts would be just as funny as they were when I first heard them.
  
• I'm making attempts to befriend my ex. I tested out how I feel by looking at flattering pictures of him. I still think he's pretty, but I'm sure that I don't want him back. I just miss his brain and talking to him. He is open to this idea, so we'll see where it goes. I've never done the "stay friends" thing before, so I want to give it a try, test my limits, and hopefully learn something about myself.
• I really want to see "Itty Bitty Titty Committee." I couldn't find theatres that showed it when it came out. The trailer and the cast look hot, and Carly Pope is in it!!

A (Sex) Dream Come True

So apparently, in 1994, the Air Force considered developing a non-lethal "love bomb" that would make enemy troops want to fuck each other instead of fight.

Oh my. A bomb to turn people gay. My mind is going to explode. This idea is hilarious, ridiculous, brilliant, and fantastical.

They obviously didn't invest in this idea. If only.

Link Me

I feel like such a stereotypical gay girl for thinking that this is yummy. Justin seems like a smug fuck who is too aware of his own hotness; this doesn't seem to distract me from his hotness.

So apparently Enrique Iglesias serenaded a gay guy on stage during one of his concerts. It's cute and sweet.

This short/skit featuring the lovely Leisha Hailey and Clea Duvall is pretty funny.

It's Official

I was watching random clips of "Oz" on youtube, and I have come to the conclusion that men should kiss more often.

What matters is that the gay sex looks hot on my TV

I feel like I've been bitching (you know, about heterosexuals and the challenges that bisexuals face) a bit too much. So I'm going to be positive in this post.

You know what's great? Cable television series. Why? Because they have the guts to really show members of the same sex in relationships and, you know, having sex. They also have more freedom to openly discuss gay-related issues. There's obviously "Queer as Folk" and "The L Word." But when I thought about it, there has been a decent amount of LGBT representation in various cable TV series:

• In "Oz," Christopher Meloni and Lee Tergeson both play bisexual men who get involve in a complicated relationship. We get to see them make out, and it's pretty hot.

• In "Six Feet Under," Michael C. Hall plays a gay man who takes a while to accept his sexuality and reconcile it with his commitment to Christianity. The solid writing and Hall's performance manage to make his internalized homophobia palatable enough for any somewhat open-minded audience to taste and chew on.

• In "Dirt," my super hot fantasy girl, Carly Pope, fucks another girl with a strap on. My jaw dropped when I happened to be flipping through the channels to find her kissing another girl. It dropped again when I saw her in action with a strap on. I'm not exactly into toys, but that scene was undeniably sexy. It was all like a (sex) dream come true.

• "Nip/Tuck" has had three MTF characters thus far. The first season had a storyline about a high school girl who falls in love her friend who just experiments with her. Roma Mafia plays Liz; she's an anaesthesiologist, and she's an older lesbian. Hah, and during the fourth season, her girlfriend was played by Alanis Morisette. And, in the fourth season, Christian Troy (played by the super sexy Julian McMahon) goes through a period where he questions his sexuality.

As for non-cable TV shows, "Will & Grace" can kiss my ass. Yes, it's a funny show. Yes, I love Karen Walker the way Jenny Schecter fans love Jenny. But there was hardly any hardcore kissing between two men, much less a sex scene.

I think "Popular" should be mentioned (not just because it has the lovely Carly Pope and the hilarious bitch that Tammy Lynn Michaels plays) because it touched on the issue of questioning one's sexuality in high school and coming out later in life. It was definitely an after-school special, but it was sincere and decently written. The WB never should have cancelled it.

Lastly, "Law and Order SVU" has had some episodes that deal with gay-related hate crimes and internalized homophobia. I have yet to see a gay love scene, but the storylines are almost always engaging.