So, through the awesomeness that is the internet, I happened to engage in a lengthy conversation with a girl whose degree and manifestation of bisexuality almost exactly matches mine. We also have very similar stories about the first girls we fell for. I've been feeling disconnected from people lately, so it was really nice to feel some connection with someone, even if they live in Toronto.
It basically boils down to the fact that we both have different standards/expectations for males and females. I feel more of an emotional pull towards women and more of a sexual pull towards men. I'm definitely sexually attracted to women, but I have to already be very emotionally and physically attracted to them to desire sex. With men, I can be more casual, and my standards haven't always been so high.
Perhaps this reflects how our culture puts significantly more pressure on women to maintain their appearances?
There's nothing wrong with wanting to establish a solid connection before having sexual relations with a women. I just think it's odd that I haven't always adhered to this standard with men. Maybe because, stereotypically speaking, men have lower sexual morals?
I also think I've repressed and suppressed a lot of my homosexual attractions, and now that I've been making a conscious effort to undo my internalized homophobia, everything is slowly resurfacing. So, who knows, perhaps at some point in the future I'll feel the same attractions to both men and women.
She showed me this yesterday. I'm still reading it all, but she shared this quote from the linked website:
Both male and female bisexuals report falling in love with women more often than with men, although many report falling in love with both genders. These data are interesting because they echo observations of many gay men, who say they are more sexually attracted to men but more emotionally attracted to women (and thus define their orientation on the basis of their sexual preference). And some lesbians, who say they are sexually attracted to men and women, are emotionally satisfied by women (thus defining themselves by emotional preference).
It obviously hit home for me. So maybe it is relatively "normal" to perceive different genders differently.
I wonder if there are bisexuals out there who are an exact 3 on the Kinsey scale; in other words, they are equally attracted to men and women both emotionally and sexually.
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6 comments:
Sí, querido, existen bisexuales a los que nos atraen por igual el hombre y la mujer.
Creo que la diferencia es la siguiente, los hombres basan a menudo sus relaciones en la fiabilidad sexual, siempre hay que estar activos, siempre a punto, que la atracción no decaiga, podría decirse que es una atracción física.
Mientras que las mujeres basamos nuestras relaciones, normalmente, con la base de una compañera, alguien que no sólo nos atrae sexualmente sino que nos amplifica los sentidos, las ideas...
Supongo que las mujeres follamos con la cabeza y los hombres con el pene.
Un saludo desde España.
PD. Excuse me. I don't speak english quite well. I hope you can understand me in my language.
Thank you for commenting! I took Spanish when I was younger, so I think I got the general idea of what you were trying to say.
Just stumbled upon your blog - enjoying your insight. Solid reading, cheers.
Hi Crystal, thanks for commenting! This blog is mostly quotes, but I do try to keep a consistent flow of posts that have depth.
Very nice article, I'm too am still in the midst of reading it, but I agree with you in that certain sexes are better for certain things kind of like some friends are better for certain things.
For example, you have your friends that you party with, just hand out at home with, or share your deepest/darkest secrets with. I would say you need them all.
AKH,
You're right. What you said actually reminded me of what I've been needing someone to remind me of. If that made sense.
Thanks!
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