Gay Shame?

So June was about LGBT pride. Aside from maintaining a queer-themed blog, I'm not one for rainbows or for being too in-your-face. But I think the concept is great. People should feel free to be themselves and celebrate that, especially if they belong to a stereotyped minority. But it also made me think of this conversation:

Jenny: Hi.
Woman: (slurred) Hi. What are you doing here?
Jenny: I'm celebrating Gay Pride, I guess. I don't know.
Woman: You mean... Gay Shame. That's what it really is.
Jenny: Why?
Woman: 'Cause... most of us have more shame than pride.
Jenny: I think that you might be right.

This happened towards the end of "Loud and Proud" on "The L Word." Jenny happened to have this brief conversation with an old, drunk lesbian at a pride party. I thought it was interesting how this was written into the script, and I think it was appropriate for Jenny to be in this conversation; the show documents her coming out process.

Is the old lady right? Deep down, do we honestly wish we conformed to the hetero norm? Wouldn't our lives theoretically be easier? Is there any part of celebrating Gay Pride that is really a way to mask feeling shame?

I think there's some truth in what the woman said, but it's different for everyone. I know I definitely went through a phase of depressed shame. Now I'm in a phase where I feel this underlying contempt for breeder privileges and how there are just so many of them. I do sometimes wish I was more "normal" still.

But I also think people who don't fit into a certain standard are privileged because they are in a position where they are more likely to question and choose to free themselves from that standard. And fitting in can result in forfeiting a portion of one's individuality. Everything has several pros and cons that are perceived differently by different people.

I would like to someday be 100% okay with myself and not-so aggravated with the prevalence of heterosexuals and bigotry.

And who said life was going to be easy?