Save Me from the Binary

So I was talking to a nerdy and dorky hetero friend. She was telling me how she's been watching all the Batman movies and how she simultaneously crushes and idolizes him; in other words, she both lusts after him and wants to be him.

She then asked if it was weird that she, a straight female with an overactive imagination, always pretended to be male heroes as a kid. I told her it wasn't weird at all: male heroes generally have more fun, are stronger, and have cooler skills or powers. There aren't as many cool female heroes.

I then mentioned Xena. Yes, I enjoyed watching that show as a kid. Yes, I'm dorky, nerdy, etc. Yes, I'm totally GAY for watching a bunch of females in somewhat scantily clad outfits beat up people. (And finally, yes, I'm lame for occasionally watching it to re-live my childhood. I admit all of this, but the show had some decent writing, the courage to show lesbian subtext, and the willingness to show women be physically and psychologically strong, even it was unrealistic).

She made fun of me and said she didn't connect to Xena in part because she's too manly. I do and don't see what she means. I personally think Xena balances masculine and feminine characteristics: she has long hair, shows cleavage, and wears a skirt, but she's also ruthless, violent, and strong. Wow, a three-dimensional woman. What a concept.

Fine, whatever. Everyone has their preferences and tastes. Xena does grunt a lot, after all.

My friend then said that when she imagines herself as a male hero, she also imagines herself pursuing a female love interest. She said this weirds her out. I rolled my eyes; the poor heterosexual is a little queer, boo hoo. Yeah, I'm a bitch. But I also think that's normal because people generally see romantic interactions in a male-to-female paradigm: if Batman pursued another guy, then he'd be gay.

I find some of this to be slightly bothersome: is pretending to be a man the only way to identify with a cool superhero? And is it acceptable for a female hero to have some masculine characteristics? Furthermore, is the only way for a female to be acceptable in the butt-kicking role is if she's wearing next to nothing? I guess I'm not nerdy enough to know about all the heroes out there: I know some of the female mutants in X-Men are pretty cool.