Date #2 with New Boy ("Seth") went pretty well (although I sort of got us lost, and I'm hoping he doesn't hate me for this). I'm starting to really like him and not preclude him based on his gender. We spent about five hours together, and it was fun, interesting, and thought-provoking. We connect (so far at least). I have a lot of respect for how talented, focused, and adaptive he is, and he makes me want to continue to grow.
I typically have a hard time with not censoring what I say around guys I'm interested in. But, for whatever reasons, I pretty much blurted out whatever I was thinking to him. This is a bit ironic since he might be a better person than I am.
A part of me just wants us to spill our dealbreakers to see if this could be a relationship, but it's too soon for that. Another part of me worries that we might just end up being friends. But even if that's the case, he'd be a worthwhile friend to have.
Oh, and I let him pay for dinner this time. I feel like I'm betraying something; maybe I'll always feel this way. I fear feeling suffocated if I commit too quickly. Bisexuality feels like a disability sometimes. At its worst, it feels like an extreme case of commitment-phobia.
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