Note to Self

In the near future, I hope to comment on the following two quotes:

"I mean men bore me. If one of them behaves like anadult it's cause for celebration, and even when they do act human, they still aren't as good as women in bed."-Molly Bolt (I saw this quote on Green's forum profile)

"Bisexuality is more natural as transgenderism."-Alice Pieszecki

Been a While

Zomg! We now know what Kelka look like! And I had just called them to tell them that I can't make it to Albuquerque pride, but that I hoped pictures would at least be posted. They pretty much look how they described themselves and how I imagined. Having a face to match the voice is a bit odd though; they've been solely oral entities for years now.

Aw, I'm bummed that I can't go. I was going to go scantily clad in hopes of a Kelkian hookup. Sometimes your boobs just need the opportunity to speak for themselves.

"The number two reason why I'm gay rhymes with moobs."-Elka

"It's just some boobies flappin' in the wind"-KC providing a lovely image

"Welcome to the Planet, the podcast for L Word ferns."-Elka being cute as she screws up

"Of course I've seen a whale. I've gone whale watching. I'm a lesbian; that is what we do."-Elka

"How would you like a dolphin burger?"-KC, being her offensive self

"Free" Agent

I feel slightly repulsed with my own heterosexuality today. Like this voice in my head was like, You've been doing WHAT with him for the past six weeks?? Gross! I guess there is such a thing as internalized heterophobia.

When one gender or team irks me, I retreat to the other team. It's a defense mechanism. I guess it can be one good thing about being a free agent, but it's a way to avoid dealing with the issue.

Although I do like the effect monogamy has on me: it calms down the unpredictable fluctuations I feel.

I'm working on educating boyfriend on some things. He has many talents and is perceptive, but he's also clueless in some arenas. Sometimes it's cute, and sometimes it's irritating. It's not his fault though: he's younger than I am, straight, and unexposed.

Hopefully I'll never have to say something like, Umm, yeahh, can we skip the sex and just play board games? Your genitalia is disgusting me today.

When L Word Nomenclature Goes Wrong

Dusty
Angus
Winnie Mann
Papi
Phyllis
Ivan Aycock
Max Sweeney

Phyllis+ Alice=Phallis
Papi+Kit=PapKit
Paige+Shane=Pane
Lara+Dana=Lard

Bits

• I was re-re-watching But I'm a Cheerleader, and I'll say it again: Clea DuVall is soo yummy in that movie.

• I was reminiscing about the female crushes I had in high school and college, and I now think most of them are gross.

• To piggyback off the previous bullet point, I think gay girls generally have better (meaning more interesting and intelligent) taste in girls than straight dudes.

• This is interesting.

• I recently learned that wifebeaters sorta look good on me. Ha...
  

Commentary

• I'm a fan of the self check out at the grocery store; it's one way to avoid looking at silly tabloids. But a tabloid about Hillary Clinton having a gay lover jumped into my peripheral vision. THERE'S an original rumor.

• If you're a big queermo like myself, I think one key to staying happy in a monogamous relationship is to be with someone who is in touch with both their masculine and feminine sides. For example, my boy toy loves animals, especially furry, cuddly ones. We had an in depth discussion of the top 5 animals we'd like to have hugging rights on. It was cute.

• But you know you're in heteroville when you find the stereotypical gross male things (e.g. light snoring, slight hairiness--luckily he keeps it in check) to be cute and endearing in your boyfriend. You also know you're in heteroville if you wonder if your hypothetical offspring will inherit his long, pretty eyelashes and irritatingly effortless (yet irresistable) abs.
  

• God I'm so gross. (BUT! I could still use some boobie action).

• God, I LOVE Khaela Maricich's voice. It's sooo sexy, theraputic, and easy to sing along to.

• God, I heart Kelka.
  

When L Word Fashion Goes Wrong