Analyze Not

I was having a lovely lunch with my friend "Loretta," and she asked me if my blogging here has slowed down because I've worked out my issues with being queer. I guess in a way I have: I no longer feel such a strong need to analyze and categorize every gay thing that passes through my big, dense head. I'm just like, Meh, I'm a big homo today...run with it!

I really don't care about the gender of the person I date or pursue in a serious way. I tend to go for guys because there are more to choose from, and I have had more practice interacting with them. If that makes me a "sellout," then whatever. I remember KC saying something along the lines of, "If you're 51% straight, then be straight. It's a hell of an easier life."

I'm not always one to choose things because they are easy. And if I ever did meet the right girl, then I would pursue that to its logical and emotional conclusion regardless of the shit I might have to deal with. And I'll always identify as tomboy'ish. But the truth is that I feel more alienated from the world when I'm gay. And, if I can help it, I would rather avoid that. Some might call this cowardly.

I guess it's just bisexual privilege. It's a right that gay people don't have, and a part of me will always sympathize with the stereotypical lesbian hatred of bisexuals. After all the bitching I have done about being bi, I might as well acknowledge the fact that it enables me to align myself to the majority.

I could label and judge myself, but I have better things to do.