"I Can Go With the Flow...Chart"

• I've noticed that I've pretty much convinced myself that I can't really be good friends with a guy. It's based on my experiences: most of my friends are girls, and I tend to feel more comfortable with girls. Furthermore, I've usually had ulterior motives with the males I've befriended, and we usually ended up getting sexual too quickly and consequently preventing a friendship from developing. Maybe I shouldn't completely close myself to the possibility that males can be fun, close friends.

• Also, I've noticed that I've had HORRIBLE first impressions of some of my current close female friends. And somehow we end up going through periods where we're attached to the hip. With males, the connections are usually immediate, and then things move too fast and evaporate shortly thereafter.

• When a girl disappoints me, it usually hits me harder than when a boy does. A friend suggested that maybe it's because girls have higher expectations to be understood by other girls, whether it be platonic or romantically.

• I was listening to the Kelka podcast in which Elka articulates her attraction to androgyny: "I like girls that look like boys, boys that look like girls, and girls that look like girls." I was thinking that I'm similar except that I also like boys that look like boys. I certainly have types, but I appreciate different types of beauty. I think, as time goes on, I'm going to discover that I'm just the eternal switch. God, adolescent repression sucks; it's blowing up in my face now.