Death by dorkiness

I was sifting through my pre-DVD tape collection in the interest of discarding junk. My tapes are pretty gay: they're 98% Xena, 1% Roseanne, and 1% recordings of my dead cat (may his meek, snuggly soul rest in peace).

I didn't have the heart to look at videos of when my baby was a wee little kitten, and I wasn't in the mood for Roseanne. So, yes, I, a relatively intelligent woman in her mid-twenties, watched a few old Xena tapes last night. Whilst flossing (at least I got something else constructive done).

I was curious. Why the hell did I love this show so much? I obviously didn't get caught up in the plot last night; I know how it ends, and a third of each episode is spent making Xena snarl, grunt, and do ridiculously unrealistic acrobatics.

The acting is pretty good, but every episode is yet another epic battle of Good vs Evil and Xena fighting to save her precious friend Gabrielle. And the last season was simply terrible. Not to mention the fact that everyone (except my wifey) has openly mocked my freakish fandom.

In spite of this, my love for her is infinite. She's like the dykey, ass-kicking, scantily-clad mother I never had. I looked up to her as a kid. While I probably can't watch more than a few minutes of an episode every few months, I can't throw these tapes away. They represent my youth, repressed gayness, and desire to be strong and assertive.