Palette

I've been feeling different lately. I've been taking a break from my [over]thinking self and tapping into my feeling self. And it's like I'm feeling the emotional version of black (or is it white?). I'm feeling the color that is all colors. I'm feeling the emotions that logically contradict each other. Somehow. Calm, scared, anxious, excited, sad, happy, etc.

I was randomly listening to music from a very depressive phase of my life, and it made me feel uppity.

I spent a portion of my previous Saturday cooking. Cooking for 1) myself and 2) my new potential man. I didn't cook for him because I'm "the woman." I did it because he's been feeding me, and I wanted to return the favor. Besides, I can pull my weight in the food creation department when I put my mind to it.

I grew up rebelling against the notion that it's the woman's job to do the cooking. Now I'm doing it happily. I'm not sure what this means or if it should be interpreted.

I [unintentionally] hurt one person, and I [effortlessly] made another person happy all in one week. I have to embrace paradoxes, contradictions, ironies, ambiguities, etc. Life is and isn't [adjective] all at the same time. I am everything. Life is everything. The lines can be blurred or even removed.

OH, and we have a President who has Muslim family members. Talk about blurring the lines!

It's getting harder and harder to see anything besides gray. And it's not scary anymore.