Sliding Scale

Me: i feel so straight
Me: i forgot what it feels like
Friend: birth control pills are the way to go
Me: gah! i don't want to!
Friend: oh i have some new theories on that
Friend: remember how i said before that it makes you straight?
Friend: but now its not at all
Friend: i think that depends on which birth control pills you are on...cause some reduce testosterone and some increase estrogen, they all work in diff ways
Friend: so to be straight, go on diane-35
Friend: to be asexual/lesbian, go on yasmin. thats what im on now
Me: lol!
Me: no wonder you've been girl-crushing so much lately
Friend: LOL i know
Friend: thats my theory anyway
Me: that's very interesting tho
Me: the role of hormones for those who are somewhere in the middle on kinsey's scale
Friend: lets do a scientific study
Friend: and we'll become famous
Me: hah!
Friend: lol
Me: why are you on the gay pill?
Friend: meh, health reasons
Friend: no breeder reasons
Me: any other side effects?
Friend: i dont think so
Friend: just lesbianism and asexuality
Me: lol
Friend: thats why i have no interest in guys
Me: that'd be funny if they put that as a warning label on the box
Friend: LOL
Me: "side effects include lesbianism and asexuality"
Friend: hahahahahahaha
Friend: thatd be great
Me: i'm scared of the pill, but you have caught my interest
Friend: are you gonna take the gay one, or the straight one?
Me: i'd like to try the straight one
Friend: wow. straighty mcstraighterson
Me: well, you know it would be easier
Friend: haha yea
Friend: but even if you start taking them now, the heterosexuality wont kick in for a while
Me: lol
Me: in our world, sexual orientations are moods, side effects, and things that "kick in"