The Way That We Live?

Friend: because we had had sex before, only with his girlfriend, who subsequently freaked out at me and accused me of trying to steal him
Friend: i am like "look you were the one exhorting me to get on his cock"
Me: wait you had a threesome?
Me: lol exhorting to get on cock
Friend: yeah, this was a few years ago
Friend: she was very aggressive but didn't seem into it
Friend: very obvs bi-in-front-of-my-bf
Friend: hate
Friend: but i went for it anyway cause they were both attractive and i thought wtf
Friend: the whole time she was like, evaluating my appearance
Friend: so i am like W T F
Me: sounds like a straight girl
Friend: lol +
Friend: so we doink, it's not bad but not great, and we all fall asleep
Me: lol doink
Friend: the next morning i get up, they make me breakfast, i shower, she climbs in with me and shotguns pot smoke into my mouth
Friend: and i'm like "hm"
Friend: i leave
Friend: as soon as i get home
Friend: there's this virulent email in my inbox
Friend: SHE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO BLOW AND RIDE HIM
Friend: I HAD BEEN COMPLETELY COOL WITH THEIR DILDO
Me: hahahahah
Friend: W
Friend: T
Friend: F
Me: again. straight girl.
Friend: +
Friend: she didn't have anything bad to say about my oral, so nyeh
Me: sounds like the type i'd love to ream for mean reasons
Friend: hahaha +