The Blind Leading the Blind

I've pretty much found a younger version of myself:

fbaddict: i want this girl at my work
fbaddict: i have like a month before i never see her again
ShaneMo: ooh la la!
ShaneMo: back to girls!
fbaddict: haha
fbaddict: it goes back and forth
ShaneMo: yes, well
ShaneMo: that's what bisexuality is
fbaddict: yeah but i dont want her sexually
fbaddict: so its bisexuality without the sexuality
ShaneMo: how do you want her then?
fbaddict: i dont know
fbaddict: i just want her
fbaddict: lol
ShaneMo: how specific
fbaddict: i dont know, im confused
fbaddict: do you want to kiss her?
fbaddict: i think so
ShaneMo: do you want like...a close friendship?
fbaddict: i dont know
fbaddict: i think im just confused
ShaneMo: i know, that's why i'm trying to ask you questions to get some idea
fbaddict: i dunno
fbaddict: i think i just have a crush on her
fbaddict: i always have actually
fbaddict: she kind of reminds me of another crush
ShaneMo: hah
fbaddict: well i dont see her as a replacement though
fbaddict: but i think one of the reasons why i like her is because she kind of reminds me of her
ShaneMo: yeah
fbaddict: shes a bit older than me though
fbaddict: so i dunno
ShaneMo: how old?
fbaddict: 23
ShaneMo: LOL
ShaneMo: yeah, she's just an aging hag
fbaddict: LOL
fbaddict: no but i mean
fbaddict: its different with girls
fbaddict: like its ok if a guy is older
ShaneMo: yeah, i understand...i guess
ShaneMo: do you feel a big age difference w/ me?
fbaddict: no
fbaddict: i dont really think about it
ShaneMo: well, you also can't see me, but yeah
ShaneMo: i don't either
fbaddict: haha
ShaneMo: you're 21, right?
fbaddict: 20
ShaneMo: god, i was a complete idiot when i was 20

ShaneMo: do you want to...hold hands w/ her?
fbaddict: i really dont know what i want
fbaddict: i like being around her and i equate that with having a crush on her
fbaddict: see, i need to experiment
ShaneMo: ah, right. yes you do.
fbaddict: remember i was talking about this before, i think you felt the same way...that it takes a lot for us to want another girl sexually?
fbaddict: like it's not with guys
ShaneMo: right
fbaddict: yeah maybe it's that
ShaneMo: i gotcha
ShaneMo: so you'd have to get to know her better to know more about what you want?
fbaddict: i dont know
fbaddict: probably
ShaneMo: physically do think she's attractive enough to fuck?
ShaneMo: in theory?
fbaddict: yeah i guess so
fbaddict: like if i was a guy
fbaddict: yeah
ShaneMo: well, you aren't a guy
fbaddict: yeah but i mean, i could see why a guy would want to
fbaddict: but as a girl...no, i wouldnt. not now anyway
ShaneMo: ah, okay
ShaneMo: straight sex can be easier.
ShaneMo: even tho men usually take a while to navigate through vagina
fbaddict: lol
fbaddict: yeah, lesbian sex is too complicated
fbaddict: i think i saw that on an episode of will and grace one time
fbaddict: she said something like "i almost became a lesbian, but it took too much effort"
ShaneMo: hahaha...it's different for everyone
ShaneMo: some women like the effort
ShaneMo: giving a blowjob isn't always a walk in the park
fbaddict: i could easily get tired of it with a girl
fbaddict: then i'd be the stereotypical bisexual and leave my girlfriend to go back to men...ha
ShaneMo: lovely
ShaneMo: and we sort of harbor a hatred for that
fbaddict: yeah i know
fbaddict: its horrible
fbaddict: i hate girls like that

Yay for self-loathing and hypocrisy!

And yay for perpetual confusion:

ShaneMo: i think you need to kiss a girl
fbaddict: well, thats what im counting on this girl for
ShaneMo: ah, right
fbaddict: although shes old
ShaneMo: she's MY age
fbaddict: lol
ShaneMo: you little twit
fbaddict: haha
fbaddict: hey, im old too
ShaneMo: stop it!
fbaddict: well its true
ShaneMo: no it isn't
ShaneMo: if she doesn't work, just doll yourself up, go to a gay bar, have a drink, and find some hot girl. you could pull it off
fbaddict: but i dont want some random girl
ShaneMo: i'm just saying maybe you should get some girl kissing out of the way
ShaneMo: i understand you don't want it to be random
ShaneMo: but i think it could possibly help you feel less confused
fbaddict: true
fbaddict: what if i dont like it
fbaddict: does that mean im straight?
fbaddict: what if im really turned off by it
ShaneMo: well, it'll be more info to go on
ShaneMo: i don't think you're straight
fbaddict: lol
fbaddict: but if i dont like it, then....?
ShaneMo: then maybe you need more emotions
fbaddict: so then i need to focus on her
fbaddict: cause there are emotions there
ShaneMo: yes, she's definitely the first project
fbaddict: shit. what if i like it better than with boys...then im a lesbian?
ShaneMo: hm, well, with the way you talk about dick...i don't think you're a lesbian either
fbaddict: haha

Talking to her is like deja vu for me; I was like this in college.