Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Words For the Oppressed

I happened to find an old, amusing conversation with my ex a while ago, and I meant to post it because the Kelkian and "L Word" references are obvious to the trained eye:

Him: it's like all of the words for homosexual
Him: and vagina
Me: hahahah
Him: no positive slang for either of those words
Me: you have a point
Me: i like saying "gaymo"
Him: gaymo?
Him: what the hell?
Him: it's funny
Me: lol
Him: where does it...come from?
Me: i dunno who i heard it from.
Me: hah you're so perplexed
Him: gaymo?
Me: haha
Him: it's like a thing and not a person
Him: like...gidget
Me: hahah
Him: or gizmo
Him: or a gremlin
Me: kind of sounds like an alien
Him: GAY-mo?
Me: lol
Him: or a pokemon
Him: eeeeew....
Me: blah
Me: i'm sure there's some positive slang for vagina tho
Him: really
Him: positive AND good to say?
Me: hmm
Me: punani
Me: uhh
Him: punani
Him: hahahahaahahahaha
Him: thank you Ali G
Him: for popularizing THAT nonsense
Him: it sounds like a japanese dessert
Me: hahah
Me: a dessert for some
Him: 'ohayo gozaimasu!
punani tabemasu ka?'
Him: so wrong
Me: calcunta
Him: calcunta?
Him: that sounds like 'indian dyke'
Me: hahah
Me: twat
Him: that's like a fruit
Him: a fruit that no one likes
Me: lol!
Me: all right fine, maybe you're right
Him: that's just how I feel
Me: yeah
Me: beaver?
Me: no
Him: it's this weird language thing...like english was created and defined by white hetero men
Me: true
Him: beaver? think about that one for a second
Me: i know i know
Him: hahahahaha
Him: although
Him: 'damn beaver's chewin' up all the poles it can find'
Me: haha!
Him: that's funny
Me: yes
Him: although, the image of matted, wet animal hair
Him: not so much
Me: tongue trap.
Him: ah ha ha !
Me: i'd say pussy is probably the best slang.
Him: I dunno
Him: toungue trap is the one in my book
Me: haha
Me: here's a bad one i heard:
Me: fu fu valve
Him: fu-fu HAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAH
Him: who makes up these things?
Him: abused 7 year olds?
Me: hahaha
Him: pedophile plumbers?
Him: careful mary, I've got to check your fu fu valve
Him: for clogs
Me: lol!
Me: the gays also don't have good terms for when they're essentially married.
Me: "life partner" and "domestic partner" are a mouthful
Him: the gays!
Him: so great!
Him: yes
Him: and just partner is...
Him: vague
Me: yeah
Me: not on the same intimate level as husband and wife
Him: shoot
Him: when I think husband and wife
Him: you know what the next word I think of is?
Me: prison?
Him: ha!
Him: guess one more time
Me: hell, eww, gross?
Him: d-i-v-o-r-c-e

I personally think "pussy" suffices as slang for vagina. I have no idea what should replace "partner." But I applaud whoever does come up with a better word for it.

I would also like to point out that "The Big Lebowski" is responsible for my feeling comfortable saying "vagina." And I also think "beaverpicture" is a great name for a porno (unless its man-on-man porn of course). If you haven't seen "The Big Lebowski," or don't remember the scenes I'm referring to, then promptly go out and rent it!

3 comments:

AKH said...

Did you have this conversation after Labia Majora aired?

ShaneMo said...

Hah, yeah. A few months after I saw that episode.

tomatita said...

The biggest movie " The big Lebowski " ... very entertaining.

And the only thing that grieves me is not to go so far as to understand all this terminology, all this slang, only suitable for the English-speakers...

...Ay (certainly, how is the onomatopoeia of a sigh in English? will there be any difference, not?), what punishes the ignorance!!!

Un beso,
Un placer como siempre.