Imbalances

So I was all excited to start a book club. I got a few friends interested, and I chose a book that everyone was curious about.

But, being the indecisive commitment-phobe that I am, I backed out after 50 pages. I admit I should have stuck it out, but it's not like my friends were dying to eat this book up. I told the wifey (one of the "members"), and she didn't care. But then she devoured the book one weekend, and now she's trying to make me read it.

When she angrily scolded me about it yesterday, I could hear her raising her finger at me via the phone. (you BETTER pick that book up and read it!). And I suddenly had a moment where I thought for the socially conservative side: so THIS is why gay marriage is illegal...too much estrogen!

Friend: I've definitely thought about getting it on with a girl. But my boobs are big enough for two girls. So if you added two more to the mix, it'd be like a mountain of boob overload.
Me: I love you for putting that image in my head.


Loretta: ...I have to admit that I haven't seen Fight Club. Every time you've mentioned it, I've just nodded and changed the subject.
Me: Hah! I can't believe you haven't seen Fight Club OR The Big Lebowski. We must watch these. And I'm so getting you drunk and making you listen to an off-season Kelka podcast with me.
Loretta: But what if I don't like them, and you can't convert me?
Me: [pause] Well, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it.


Me: Okay, I kinda have to confess that I had a crush on a student once.
Friend: Whoa.
Me: Hey, I'm no pederass! She was 18, and I was 21.
Friend: It was a girl?? That's even worse!
Me: Why? I'm mostly sure she was bi. She was like a more charming version of me in high school. If anything, it's narcissistic.
Friend: Whatever pervy girl.
Me: It's not like I have a dick to rape, impregnate, or not make her come with.
Friend: Ouch!
Me: You started the gender biasing, big boy.