Greetings!

There’s generally a standard list of occasions for which people give cards: birthdays, weddings, graduations, parental tributes, new babies, etc.

That’s all well and good. But there are smaller, more egotistical, or more everyday occasions that people celebrate, but they might not be willing to advertise or thow a party for such events.

Nevertheless, they might internally bathe such achievements with just as much validation; I think some of these events can merit a card:

Way to end that dry spell!

Compliments on your newly acquired six pack.

Congratulations on not needing to fake it anymore!

OR

Way to make her come this time!

Happy Coming Out! I’m glad to hear your family didn’t disown you.

Congratulations on having perkier boobs than your nemesis!

Compliments on the surprisingly convincing fake tan. Your ability to cheat the Cancer Gods never ceases to amaze me.

OR

Your ability to cheat the Cancer Gods never ceases to amaze me. Cheers! OR Keep puffin’ away!

We're so relieved that you've decided to stop pretending that you're straight!