I wish I could fully explain my state of mind as of the past few weeks. There's so much I don't particularly care about: what people think of me, how I look, if I'm pleasing my family, what career to pick, etc. This isn't to say that I'm walking around like an unkempt hobo/hippy, but I'm just keeping things simple.
A lot is just rolling off my back, and I'm content to just enjoy the moment and the day as it is. It's like every moment (no matter how painful, boring, or disappointing it is) is an opportunity to learn and grow. It's pretty fuckin' liberating.
I kinda wanted to make this energy contagious when I hung out with my friends this weekend, but I was not successful. Instead, I noticed girls finding ways to indirectly express their insecurities; seeing through people can be a bit of a curse. I wanted to tell them that they don't need to feel inadequate over some subjective bullshit. And I found myself being judgemental for a short while.
I had a lot of fun, and we had some good laughs. But I wanted them to feel as free as I feel. But I then realized that I have to learn to accept people as they are. I cannot impose my ideas on them. I may have good intentions, but I'm also being selfish and trying to change people to be more like me.
Maybe it's not that different from the Should Nots who try to convert gay people to heterosexuality via prayer. Or the Should Nots who only consider a marriage between a man and a woman is legit.
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