Happy-Go-Lucky Part I

It's like you couldn't pay me to stay unhappy for long.

I've been having a lot of probing, engaging, and enjoyable conversations with new, different people lately. Some I often disagree with. But I'm the type of person who can't stop re-reading, editing, and re-writing my view of existence, so I'm learning a lot. This year has provided me with a lot of valuable lessons, and every mistake I've made has been goldmine-worthy.

Furthermore, my life is nowhere near where it Should be for someone my age, and I don't just mean this because I'm a Xena-loving queer. There are a lot of things that are "wrong" with my life, but I just can't see them as anything but "right" anymore.

All of these experiences have me thinking about a broader definition of what it means to be queer. I've always seen it as an umbrella term for all the gays, trannies, and anyone who drastically functions outside the traditional social constructs that dictate sexuality, gender, roles, etc.

But now I think of a queer as someone who questions everything, particularly the religious and secular cults that blatantly and subtely control people. These cults operate by keeping people feeling deficient; they convince people that they need to have the ideal Career, Spouse, Body, etc to be happy.

In the broadest and most idealistic sense, to be queer is to be free, happy, and perhaps most importantly, to be queer is to simply be yourself, no matter how much of a freak you might be. But being a skeptical (and possibly mistreated) minority and being happy don't always go hand in hand. I used to be a rather grouchy skeptic, and now I feel more happy-go-lucky.


Even with disappointments like Prop 8 and Prop 102 passing. I definitely ranted to my friends, and my friends ranted to me. It's depressing and disgusting. And it's going to take more work, time, fighting, and funding before marriage equality becomes a prevalent right in this country.


But when it comes to people who go out of their way to control, oppress, and demean you, the best way to fight back is to go on and be as free, expressive, and impervious as is respectfully possible.

Sure, homophobic people will try to brainwash kids into feeling ashamed of being gay. But there's more information out there. There's more gay shit on TV, in the news, and in our government. But anti-gay movements can only go so far to change who people are and how they feel.

Maybe I sound vague and naive, but some other ideas are forming....