Monday, February 4, 2008

It's gettin' hot in here...

Okay, I feel a little lame for my post title, but I'm too lazy to think of anything more clever right now.

A short while ago, while shopping, a friend of mine asked me a question that threw me off guard. The conversation went a little something like this:

Friend: Want to go to a strip club with me?
Me: Huh? With men or women on the stage?
Friend: Women.
Me: Ew, no!
Friend: Why not?
Me: I'm not PAYING to to see women take off their clothes and be raunchy. Especially women who probably have had implants.
Friend: Well...
Me: And I do NOT want to be in an audience with a bunch of desperate straight dudes.
Friend: I'm just saying it could be a fun way to see some naked ladies.
Me: If I really needed that, I could just look at myself.
Friend: Then what's the point in even wanting to date a girl since you are one?
Me: Well, I'm already in a relationship with myself, and I always will be. But if I want a relationship with someone else, then why be choosy as to if it's with a male or female?

For the record, if she had asked me to go to a strip club featuring men, I still would have said no; the thought of naked men flashing their pieces at me while dancing sounds completely ridiculous. But I don't think men are usually hot when they dance...at least in comparison to women.

But the thought of using my money to objectify other women doesn't sit right with me. I (usually) don't want to be reduced to just my body. On the other hand, I have no problem with objectifying men. I'm well-aware that they have feelings and can be mature, but it seems less offensive to just use the right type of guy for his wang. Maybe this is a double standard.

I aksed another friend what her take on it was:

Me: would you go to a strip club featuring women?
Friend: fuck yes
Friend: actually a friend and i have been talking about going to this burlesque place in lincoln square, which is not strictly speaking a Strip Club, but definitely does involve girls getting naked for money
Me: i see
Me: but...it's objectification
Me: and...paying for objectification
Friend: that's one way to see it
Friend: another way is liberation
Friend: i take pornographic photos of myself
Friend: i choose what i look like
Friend: i choose who sees them
Friend: and if i were to sell them, i'd choose to whom and for how much
Friend: people are always going to like to see naked ladies
Friend: the extent to which it's a pimp/whore relationship, and who controls their nakedness, the seeing and what it costs if anything is variable
Friend: being anti-sex about it misses the point
Me: hm, i see what you're saying
Me: i dunno
Me: i guess i'd prefer emotions about the girl and who she is to be involved in the de-clothing process

I suppose that some situations in the nakedness/money exchange could be more empowering (for those getting naked) than others. We cannot change the power of naked ladies, but I suppose we can change the contexts in which they get naked so they're safer.

4 comments:

Suzanna said...

I agree. Every situation is unique. Some sex workers are actually fulfilled individuals who like their jobs and are well-compensated and treated with respect and dignity. Dan Savage has talked about this particular topic on several of his podcasts. I tend to agree with him on the topic.

Also, you were on the latest Planet Chart (as was I, actually... the one with the Russian accent). Not only are you an intelligent woman who writes about important/fun things, you also have a sexy voice. Awesome!

Anonymous said...

your views are very mature and you write intelligently.

keep on writing, you rawks!

ShaneMo said...

Suzanna,

Making it to the Chart totally made my day!

Aw, shucks, thanks for the compliments. I think anyone who likes my voice is probably at least a little queer. Your message was funny. "KC is the hottest woman I have not seen!" I wish I had a cute accent like you!

You're on the forum! We rock!

ShaneMo said...

Syamil,

Thank you! This blog is my baby, and I will continue to write in it!