"Well, you know, all that fucking with no art is really rather dreary."

I was analyzing the film "Closer" with a friend. It was awesome because she really appreciates the witty dialogue and how it's done. Then she pointed out that in terms of eye candy, it's a bisexual's dream. And I remember Slo and Green saying that it's a good movie to watch naked.

In my opinion, they're all right: everyone in the film is ridiculously attractive. Although I personally am not into Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman's balance of brains, beauty, and sexiness make her attractive enough to count for two hot people. Clive Owen is so fucking sexy; his deep voice and thick accent are yummy. On top of that, he looks like the type of manly man who would fuck your brains out. Jude Law is a different flavor: he's scrawny and beautiful.

Hormones aside, I love "Closer." I watched it for the second time a few months ago. I watched it through the eyes of my ex; he would have laughed throughout the film because he is polyamorous and would assert that the problems the characters face could be solved through open relationships. I also watched it because, at the time, I was questioning my ability to be monogamous. It was interesting to view this film with a different perspective.

I like how you never see any of the cheating; you only see the scenes where the cheating is admitted and the people involved get hurt. It'd be great to derive voyeuristic pleasure from witnessing some sinful sex scenes with these gorgeous people, but the audience is denied this.

The film focuses on the damage that the infidelity causes, and this fills my two favorite scenes with raw emotion:

1) In this scene, Clive Owen's character reacts to finding out that his wife, played by Julia Roberts, had been cheating on him with Jude Law's character. When Clive Owen cried, I felt so sad to watch the rug get pulled from underneath his emotions. And when he quietly implied that she was a whore, the insult carried so much weight and pain.

2) Then, to cope with what happened, he went to a strip club and happened to find Alice (Natalie Portman) whom Jude Law's character cheated on and left for Julia Roberts. He had briefly met her before. This is one of my favorite film scenes ever. No, it's not because we get to see Natalie Portman's perfect figure. First off, the music is so appropriate: the first song is electronic, sexy, and impersonal. The second song ("How Soon is Now?" by The Smiths) has sentimental lyrics voicing the human need for love.

Throughout the scene, desperately tries to connect with her, especially because she was also hurt by Jude and Julia. He tries to get her to admit her real name, and he tries to relate to her pain. But she deflects all his attempts at sincerity with smarty, mocking remarks. She's polite, and she willingly strips for him, but she's never emotionally open. She's practically naked, but, as he points out, she wears the armor. She repeatedly reminds him that they can't physically touch; the symbolism of that is fairly obvious.

When he realizes that his attempts to get closer to her are futile, he tries to assert his dominance on the situation by ordering her to strip and bend over for him. When she asks him if that's what he wants, he replies, "What else could I want?" Well, he obviously wants more: he wants intimacy and honesty. The camera focuses in on his eyes, just as he focuses on her body parts. And you never see Natalie Portman's face as she strips. He has reduced himself to the stereotypical male sexual animal, and she voluntarily reduced herself to a sexual object. It's incredibly sad. This sadness taints another potentially sexy scene: it'd be great to watch the two fuck, and it'd be great to just gawk at Natalie Portman prance around and flirt in her skimpy little outfit. But there's more going on underneath the surface.

And the moment when she stands up and bends over takes place at just the right time in the song where it slows down. I fucking love it.

The power dynamics are reversed from what you'd stereotypically expect: the woman is the emotionally unavailable and dominant one. I like how the film shows emotional vulnerability in both men and women; it's accurate.

Also, there never is the stereotypical scene where the two men physically fight over the woman they both want, and the women never get in a cat fight. Instead, the men play games with each other's relationship to fuck with the other's heads. And in the beginning, even though Natalie Portman knows that Jude Law wants to cheat with Julia Roberts, she allows Julia Roberts to photograph her.

The whole film is so satisfyingly anti-climatic as it plays with gender roles and the traditional love story.